The Invisible Twelfth House
Copyright: By Carmen Turner Schott
I remember when I was young and I had talents at sports but no one ever encouraged me to play sports. I just naturally was drawn to basketball. I spent most of my days shooting baskets at the park down the street from where I grew up. I found out early on that even though I was the best shooter on the team, I was not the one playing. The coach even pulled me in the hall once and said, “I know you are better than Kim but you have to prove it in the game in front of the parents.” I remember saying to her, “If you know I am better then why do I have to do that?” I learned that day about small-town politics. It seemed like no matter how hard I worked other people always got noticed or the coach always favored them over me. I proved myself at practice and worked hard but never got a starting point guard position on varsity. I was always the sixth man on the bench. Sometimes the coach would put me in at the end of a game if they really needed to win and wanted someone to be able to make a three-point shot. I would come in the game after sitting on the bench all four quarters and make the winning basket and sometimes I would miss.
I felt like they only used me when they needed something and it never felt fair to me. I continued to play throughout high school even though I felt invisible most of the time. At practice, we would shoot free throws until we missed, and then we had to rotate. The thing was I did not miss, so the coach would get annoyed and then say okay enough Carmen, next shooter. I had some great moments but all of these feelings of not being appreciated and acknowledged stayed with me throughout each season until the last game my senior year. I had my moment of glory and one of the most spiritual experiences of my life.
We were playing a rival team and it was the last game of my senior year. I sat on the bench the entire first two quarters and at half-time, I wondered why is the coach not playing me? At that moment we were getting beat by over 20 points. I felt hurt, frustrated, and felt disillusioned. As we started the third quarter the team kept having turnovers and we were losing. I was sitting on the bench and suddenly, this feeling came over me and I got chills. It was like a voice in my head and I knew I was going in soon. I heard the words in my head, “just shoot”. I had this peaceful feeling come over me and all of a sudden, the coach yelled, “Carmen”. I walked down sat next to her and she said, “go in and just shoot”. They were in a zone defense, which was the best for me because I could get set to shoot three-point shots with no one taller than me guarding me. I entered the game feeling like something or someone was watching over me.
In the first play, the other team threw the ball to me underneath my team’s basket, so I shot and made it. Then there was a frenzy of energy and everything changed. I came down the court and shot a three-pointer and made it. Then I stole the ball and dribbled down for a layup. Things kept moving fast and I shot more and the next thing you know my team was almost tied with the other team. There were only a few minutes left on the clock and I shot a three-pointer and got fouled. This meant that I got three free shots. We were down by two points. I remember standing there at the free-throw line and feeling like I could feel my feet on the ground. I felt strange and dissociated from my physical body. I looked up at the rim and I saw people screaming and waving their hands, the gym was packed and police officers were at the doors of the gym to control the crowd. The referee handed me the basketball and when I looked at the rim again; I saw something strange. I saw three yellowish-white orbs floating above the rim. They were moving back and forth. I could not feel my legs and was watching the orbs, and I knew I would make the shots. I threw it up and it went in. Everyone screamed and cheered. Then dribbled and looked and there were three orbs, glowing lights floating back and forth. I did not know what was happening and in my mind; I knew my guardian angels were watching over me. I made the final basket with 30 seconds left on the clock to put our team ahead by one point to win the game. The reporter interviewed me, I was finally in the paper for the first time and recognized for my work. I remember feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders because this night made up for all those nights, I was invisible.
I share this story with you because I truly feel that twelfth house people will be rewarded for their devotion, hard work, selfless service, and talents. This does not happen easily for us. Sometimes we suffer from the carelessness of others and mistreatment of others who do not realize how tender-hearted we are. I promise you that one day, they will see you. There will be a day that you feel appreciated. There will be a moment when you are acknowledged. It might not happen every day, but it will happen. It often happens when we finally let go of the need for it.
The influence of the planet Neptune, the natural ruler of the twelfth house, has a major effect on our feelings of invisibility. Neptune is the culprit of why twelfth house people often feel unappreciated and ignored. Born with natural compassion, kindness, and an immense ability to serve others and taking care of those who need help, twelfth house people often feel they never get recognized for their good deeds or talents. I have felt this way and experienced this throughout my own life as a Sun and Venus in the twelfth house person.
Twelfth house people are special and here on this earth for a specific mission and purpose. I am often tested in my own life with expectations. I felt let down, taken for granted, unappreciated most of my life. When I finally realized that these feelings were meant to be for me to transform into an unconditional servant is when I healed these feelings. Helping others selflessly without a need for reciprocation is the lesson. Selfless service means we get satisfaction from within ourselves. I think part of the problem for me was that my love language was words of affirmation. I feel loved when I hear people share words and communicate with me. The strong Virgo in my chart enhances this need. I realized after having my feelings hurt time and time again, there was something different about me. How I expected to be treated was not how others would treat me. To me, it seemed so simple and easy. I did not understand why others continued to let me down emotionally. Family, friends, and co-workers would seem to just expect me to give and give without reciprocation. I realized part of this lesson is about developing boundaries. I could go long periods giving and was inspired by knowing inside my heart that I was helping the lives of others. Twelfth house people can go months and years serving without exhaustion, but one day we feel burned out. It happens to us all. I always like the saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” We have to fulfill ourselves and replenish our own spiritual energy to continue to serve selflessly as we are destined to.
As twelfth house people, we have to learn boundaries and be able to give ourselves the appreciation and acknowledgment we are looking for outside ourselves. Connecting to spirit and a higher power is the fastest way for twelfth house people to heal these unpleasant feelings. Meditating, relaxing, writing, and sitting in silence listening to uplifting music can all bring comfort and the strength to overcome feeling invisible. Other people’s appreciation will never satisfy us because it’s worldly. Twelfth house people are not from this world. We always felt alien and different from others. We walk in the energy between worlds. Therefore we feel invisible, in a way we are. Our soul and essence are not fully here on earth or in our physical bodies. We detach and dream, living in our imagination and in the akashic realms.
Twelfth house people walk on earth but live somewhere else energetically. Recently I had this test of feeling invisible pop up again in my life. I had multiple experiences of people not seeing me. I was on a zoom session for a course I was helping teach for work. I put a lot of time and effort into helping teach this two-week class. On the final day of the class, the lead was introducing all the faculty. They introduced everyone and allowed them all to talk, except they forgot about me. I was on camera waiting but not acknowledged. This kind of thing happens to me all the time and I know it’s my twelfth house Sun energy. I said to myself, “Am I invisible or something?” I even tried to talk at certain points, but others talked over me and it was like no one heard me. They never introduced me but that same week I had other strange things similar to this happen. This is when I started thinking of writing an article about twelfth house invisibility.
Even at work, I will be in the office and someone will say, “Oh I did not realize you were here; I walked by several times and did not see you.” I am thinking to myself that is strange because I have been here the entire time and saw you walk by ignoring me. There are many times when I will be in a room with a group of people and it’s like they can’t see me or acknowledge my presence. As a Virgo, I am modest and do not like to be exposed or in the limelight, so it is something deeper that is experienced and I feel I just want others to see me. We are invisible to many, but those who need us will find us. The people meant to seek our help and those with pain find us easily. I used to say, “I must have a sign on my back that says come to me if you need help.” I felt this way my entire life. Now at age 46, I still feel that I don’t get credit for the work I do. I have heard several twelfth house people share stories about this in my groups. Sometimes they share with me that they had an idea, project at work that took off and was successful. The next thing they know their co-worker who did nothing to help but that is good at bragging about themselves takes credit for the project in front of management and supervisors. They are rewarded and highlighted for the job you did. This happens all the time to me at work. The thing is that we know inside the truth. I always wonder why other people believe these things and do not see the clear truth. The thing that hurts is that twelfth house people feel deep pain, sadness and betrayal by people around them many who they trust. Our kindness sometimes seems like an invitation to take advantage of us and it’s like people know we will forgive them so they continue to do these hurtful things. We ask ourselves, “How can they not see that their behavior was wrong?”
The learning lesson here is that we have to let go of a need for recognition, acceptance, and appreciation. When we truly release the ego desires and all the Neptune idealism, high expectations, and illusions, then we start to feel lighter. When we do this, truly letting go guess what happens? We receive an acknowledgment from the universe. Something positive will happen to us and we get a sense of justice. It might take time but be patient, it will happen. The twelfth house is after all the house of guardian angels. Believe me, angels are watching over twelfth house people and protecting us even if we can’t see them. Our light shines so brightly that most people are blinded by it. When the light is so bright people can’t see us at all. This is why we feel invisible. It’s not our fault. We are just being ourselves. It is often those with a bright light or larger light than ours who recognized us and we feel seen for the first time.
Twelfth house people are lights in the darkness and attract people who take and if we can remember the deeper reason why then we will embrace this gift. The gift of compassion, wisdom and selflessness.